Movie: Superman Returns

Was It (Actually) For Kids?
Casts: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden

“Gonna watch Superman tomorrow!” said I, full with enthusiasm.
“Really? Is it supposed to be good? A friend asked.
“Dunno, but he’s drop dead gorgeous!”

And my friend didn’t ask me further, even though my reply didn’t really answer his question, because he knows that a good-looking cast was a good enough reason for me to watch any movie. He didn’t even have to ask who I was referring to. Brandon Routh of course. This mutual understanding is really handy. I will gladly give him the same justice if he said that he would like to watch… hmmm, Into the Blue, for example, because of Jessica Alba. Or Tomb Rider because of Angelina Jolie. Hey, fair is fair, and after all those gorgeous people were put there for a reason we all know only too well. We really must admit that…

And guess what, it turned out that Routh’s gorgeous face was the one thing that save my Sunday and avoided me from thinking that I just flushed my 50.000 rupiahs down the toilet!

People pondered over how young Routh is, how inexperienced in acting the guy is, how bad the new costume is, etc etc… But I found out that all of those things were the least of the movie’s problem.

No, of course the movie wasn’t all that disastrous!—the “faster than a speeding bullet” effects was awesome, the flying scenes were both romantic and definitely were goose bumps’ yielder. It all depends on what do you expect from it. Me? For a person that had watched Superman I-IV and Smallville from Season 1, I expected a lot! My bad! After the wonderful Spiderman and Batman movies, I was really expecting a grown up movie. But instead, I got to watch a fairytale about a man who can fly. Believe me, I have a very generous-open minded-view towards fantasy. In fact, love them. Harry Potter, Lord of the Ring, The Chronicles of Narnia, you named it. But Superman Returns (SR) made me (and my friend, actually) unable to shut the endlessly protesting mouth during the film. In consequence, I got a warning “Sshh!!!” from the next seat. So sorry… but really…

To cut this demurrer short, I am not gonna write the synopsis of the movie (after all, you guys probably had read it many times from other places), but I will share the things that really bothered me about SR—beware of spoilers, though:

1. Luthor Hacking Fortress of Solitude. Kryptonian technologies were supposed to be thousands of years more advanced than those we, the human race, have. And Jor-El was supposed to be a genius scientist in his planet. So it really was seemed impossible for me how Lex Luthor was able to, very easily, gained all the knowledge (the crystals) from the Fortress of Solitude! I mean, don’t they at least supposed to have some kind of “bulletproof” identity confirmation equips that allows Jor-El’s to know who is he talking to: his son or the enemy? From the looks on the movie, Kryptonian computers operated like a simple VCR. You know, just enter the tape, press the PLAY button and enjoy! Come on…

2. Is Lois Lane a Superwoman? Puh-lease, the girl had endured more than a five times major turbulences while the plane encountered problems. MAJOR, I really have to repeat this. And she emerged healthily; with still the perfect make up I have to add, without a single bruise, fracture, or broken bone?

3. The plane incident. I’m talking about the oxygen issues. Okay, some people may have argue that even on the previous Superman movie, our hero had taken Lois to outer space, where Lois still can breath normally and not suffering a slightest problem in respiration. And after all the media on that plane (in SR) had their oxygen mask on—well, except for the super Lois Lane. But do you honestly can believe that they can still be wide awake, happy and cherry “Hey, it’s Superman!”, when they landed on that stadium? After all the climbing up to the outer of earth’s atmosphere, and diving fast like a meteor from there to earth again? The thin air, the cabin’s pressure, the bags falling to their head, was not even considered?

4. The hair. We couldn’t hold our giggles over this one thing. Yes, alright, we know already! Please! That the curl on Superman’s forehead is his trademark. But was it really necessary to keep it perfect and unspoiled even though the hero was being beaten up or unconscious after falling from space? Must it? Really? I ask you…

5. The son. Okay… I’ve got over it, and after a while accepted that the kid was Superman’s son. But let’s do some math over here. Superman has been gone for only five years. If Lois has been pregnant, let’s just say three/four months, when he’s gone, that will make the child four years old, right? Five years top. So can somebody tell me, why did the boy look like a six/seven years old? Was it the hair?

6. The Mother Instinct. Lois Lane was supposed to be an experienced reporter; she’s a Pulitzer winner for god sake, to know only too well that bringing your child into a suspicious place for your investigation was possibly the same as putting him/her in danger. How irresponsible and selfish of her to do such a thing!! Although this was good for the story, it didn’t do well for her character.


There! I’ve said it… Yeah, I know it’s just a movie, and I know that I might have been spending too much time dwelling over such things. But I’m a big Superman’s fan, so it’s hard for me not to hope too much… sob sob…
But hey, for all of you moviegoers out there, no matter how the outcome for you is, don’t miss out this one!