"What the heck am I doing?” was the question I repeated over and over again to myself during last week, before going to the country so close in my heart. “I’m like digging a hole to bury my self in, looking for trouble when I can just live a normal and save life!”
The question grew larger and more disturbing when I was packing the max 30 kilo baggage. Tears rolled and frustration literary choked me so hard, I felt like undoing the things I’ve done this past one year: not entering the documents, not doing the tests, interviews, not accepting the scholarship.
Yeah yeah, I knew I’m lucky. Many people will gladly take my place. But still…
Most of you probably have read somewhere about having a comfort zone. Mine were my job, the office, my apartment, my whole routine life for the last five years. I was like in this nice warm comfortable big chair where I can drink my favorite hot chocolate, reading books, or writing something on the computer, while listening to some Korean/Japanese songs.
On April 2nd I was to leave all of that, and when they say it will take a mighty effort to just get up and change your life, oh boy the were so RIGHT!!! “I don’t wanna go to Tokyo!” the feeling actually escaped and sounded by my mouth out loud.
But anyway, have to say that I’m kind of proud of myself now. Taking the big chances and actually doing them, instead of just thinking and dreaming.
And here I am, typing this in my dorm room. I’m on the fourth floor, and there’s a sakura tree blooming right outside my window. Haven’t got a good camera. So hopefully these pictures I’ve taken with my mobile will suffice.
So now, I’m fine. As the late Ratu’s song, “Aku baik-baik saja…” ;-))
The question grew larger and more disturbing when I was packing the max 30 kilo baggage. Tears rolled and frustration literary choked me so hard, I felt like undoing the things I’ve done this past one year: not entering the documents, not doing the tests, interviews, not accepting the scholarship.
Yeah yeah, I knew I’m lucky. Many people will gladly take my place. But still…
Most of you probably have read somewhere about having a comfort zone. Mine were my job, the office, my apartment, my whole routine life for the last five years. I was like in this nice warm comfortable big chair where I can drink my favorite hot chocolate, reading books, or writing something on the computer, while listening to some Korean/Japanese songs.
On April 2nd I was to leave all of that, and when they say it will take a mighty effort to just get up and change your life, oh boy the were so RIGHT!!! “I don’t wanna go to Tokyo!” the feeling actually escaped and sounded by my mouth out loud.
But anyway, have to say that I’m kind of proud of myself now. Taking the big chances and actually doing them, instead of just thinking and dreaming.
And here I am, typing this in my dorm room. I’m on the fourth floor, and there’s a sakura tree blooming right outside my window. Haven’t got a good camera. So hopefully these pictures I’ve taken with my mobile will suffice.So now, I’m fine. As the late Ratu’s song, “Aku baik-baik saja…” ;-))
Wish me all the luck, guys...
4 comments:
Oh, you don't need luck. You'll be great!
While on the other hand I myself have some big plans but keep on hesitating to take the risk.
Two years, so I heard, am I right? Stay strong, many success in pursuing your dream. And don't forget to blog ... hihihihi
mba...udah di Jepang yach ..aduh keren banget tempatnya , jangan sering2 nangis krn home sick yach mba
gak nyangka bisa kebetulan ketemuan di semanggi ya jd kopdar juga kita.
Mba udah di Jepang yach ??? disana 2 tahun aduh cukup lama juga yach sampe homesick..tp jgn menyerah yach mba Indah pokoknya maju terus pantang mundur..jangan lupaposting foto2 selama disana
dear yuni,
makasih banget buat support-nya. gak nangis kok... hehehehe, tapi pastinya kangen juga ama keruwetan dan kesederhanaannya hidup di Jakarta... :-p
take care yaaa
Post a Comment